{"id":101,"date":"2011-07-15T13:36:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-15T13:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lidaprypchan.org\/?p=101"},"modified":"2015-07-19T21:29:12","modified_gmt":"2015-07-19T21:29:12","slug":"single-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lidaprypchan.org\/?p=101","title":{"rendered":"SINGLE AGAIN"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Lida Prypchan<\/b><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
Few people experiment (in matters of love); most cling to the ways of the past. \u00a0As for the conventional idea of marriage or the usual family structure, the majority of people will refuse to dispense with them. \u00a0They will continue to look for happiness within an orthodox setting that presupposes a union \u201ctill death do us part.\u201d \u00a0Eventually, however, they will have to make changes, since the probabilities against a successful outcome of their attitude may become overwhelming. \u00a0These expectations are deeply rooted in our culture.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
Love is defined in terms of a notion of shared growth. \u00a0It is a charming network of complementary needs which generate satisfaction, security, affection and tenderness. \u00a0This theory of the \u201cparallel development\u201d of love states that the quality of the relationship between husband and wife depends upon \u201cthe extent to which their different, but comparable, phases of development coincide.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
But if love is the product of a shared development and if we are to measure the success of marriage by the degree to which the development of each partner coincides, we have to make a firm and portentous prediction about the future. \u00a0It can be shown that, even in a relatively stable society, the statistical probabilities are against either partner\u2019s achieving this ideal parallel growth. \u00a0An American writer has said, \u201cTo expect marriage to last indefinitely, under today\u2019s conditions, is expecting a lot; to ask love to last indefinitely is asking a lot more.\u201d Transitoriness and the need for novelty have conspired against it.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
This shift in statistical probabilities against love explains the high proportion of divorces and separations in the majority of technological societies. \u00a0In fact, something has been lost already, i.e., the former desire for permanence. \u00a0These days millions of men and women adopt the strategy of getting married in the conventional manner and trying to make it work, but get divorced or separated when their relationship turns too sour for them to bear. \u00a0As human relations become more transitory, the search for love acquires a more frenetic rhythm. \u00a0Consequently, people have opted for \u201ctemporary marriage\u201d or serial marriages.\u201d \u00a0Serial marriages \u2013 a string of successive temporary marriages \u2013 seem to be made to measure for this Era of Transience, in which all human relationships, all bonds people have with society, are for the short term. \u00a0This will be the main pattern of marriage in the future. \u00a0A family sociologist has observed, \u201cToday plural marriage is more common in our society than it was in societies that permitted polygamy. \u00a0The main difference is that instead of allowing simultaneous plural marriage, we have institutionalized plural marriage into a series or sequence of marriages.\u201d \u00a0It is so common that an employee of IBM relates a curious incident of a divorced woman who, upon filling out an employment application form, paused when she got to the box asking for marital status. \u00a0She bit her pencil, thought for a moment, and then finally wrote: \u201cSingle again.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Lida Prypchan \u00a0 Few people experiment (in matters of love); most cling to the ways of the past. \u00a0As for the conventional idea of marriage or the usual family structure, the majority of people will refuse to dispense with them. \u00a0They will continue to look for happiness within an orthodox setting that presupposes a … <\/p>\n

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